GCG Sun Anonymous Undercover Reporter
A scandal is on the wind at the GCG Sun, three sheets to the wind to be exact. An inspection of the closed circuit camera footage from the day after the GCG Sun Anniversary bash revealed some shocking secrets of the GCG Sun. In particular Editor Anna Wright is under some scrutiny. Ms. Wright was cooperative in submitting to questioning claiming she had reasonable explanations for all of the footage that surfaced.
The first disturbing images were uncovered after an anonymous tip to Park’s Canada’s wildlife hotline. It would seem the leavings of the celebration attracted one lone grizzly bear, who has since been nicknamed Yogi. Yogi made some leavings of his own after overindulging on funnel cakes and beer. Ms. Wright shirked responsibility for the appearance of the bear; simply declaring she hadn’t invited him personally.
The security team decided to investigate further and found an interesting collection of video along with some physical evidence around Ms. Wright’s desk in the form of a vast array of gin bottles. She claims it was “planted” by a Mr. Reyn Softly. She couldn’t offer solid proof of this. It was just a “hunch”. There is apparently some unspoken conflict between them about the state of the office lavatory and she feels revenge may be a motivator.
Regardless of Mr. Softly’s motivations, other footage was noted to contain images of some sort of bootleg transaction between Ms. Wright and an unnamed gentleman, delivering to her private collection in her workplace. This is where the story gets truly fishy. Ms. Wright admits to the deliveries and claims she has enrolled in an online correspondence leisure study of the history and medicinal properties of gin through an Australian College and sought it out for her indigestion. She would neither expand on said details nor divulge the name of the delivery man but she did try to distract investigators with historical facts and quotes about the libation in question:
“The gin and tonic has saved more Englishman’s lives and minds than all the doctors in the Empire.” – Winston Churchill
“I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.” - W.C. Fields
“Red meat and gin….” – Julia Childs on the reason for her longevity.
That went on for some time and resolved none of the above. GCG Sun readers, I will keep digging, like I did through her refuse bin full of discarded limes. We undercover reporters have a mission to report the truth, even in our own ranks, before it affects the quality of the publication. Gin is, after all, said to be the drink of ruin.